The latest episode of Hard Ticket pits slapstick rom-com American Psycho against memecore banger Vampire’s Kiss. Christian Bale and Nicholas Cage both deliver stellar performances which I assume left a wet spot in the Hard Ticket corporate recording studio, but which was wettest?
American Psycho is a movie which I had never considered to be in the same vein as Fight Club, but I do actually see it. Patrick Bateman was truly the modern man’s Tyler Durden, until Andrew Tate made himself a modern Tyler Durden and made the modern Patrick Batemans into retro Tyler Durdens in the modern era. American Psycho can viewed, in many ways, as the antithesis of American Mary, the feminist horror classic. Also, yuppie actually stands for “your uncle’s penis pisses indigo excrement”. I hope that alleviates the confusion.
Vampire’s Kiss is a movie I haven’t seen before, but will have to now. Tristan really sold it. Do better, Jeff. I can really empathize with Cage now, knowing that his agent thought accepting the role would be career suicide. People said starting a blog that only one person reads would be career suicide, but as someone with expertise in careers and suicide, I knew better. And much like Cage’s performance in Vampire’s Kiss, this episode was a tour de force for one half of Hard Ticket. Do better, Jeff.
I’d like to close by taking a stab at some of the questions which close out the episode. I think Jeff could play me better than I could play him. I have a very specific sex appeal, but goddamn Jeff is broad spectrum SPF (sexual projection force). And if there were any song that could be added to Bateman’s murder spree, it would be Hip to Be Scared by Ice Nine Kills. He seems like the kind of guy who would like a song based on his own movie.
Hard Flickit 