After reading Jeff’s new review of Ford v Ferrari, I’m thankful for one thing: Roe v Wade. I only wish Jeff’s parents felt the same way.
Thanks for writing a spoiler-free review, Jeff. I wouldn’t wanna know any important plot points for a racecar movie. Do the cars go fast? Is there gonna be a lot of tense eye contact? What size is Christian Bale gonna be? I’m so fucking glad that you made sure that none of these super important details found their way into this review.
But this smoldering car wreck of a review’s biggest blunder is not mentioning the hottest scandal in Hollywood right now: Matt Damon’s comments on gay actors from 2015. How could anyone endorse a movie starring a bigot like Matt Damon? Even if he is a chiseled DILF that makes my prostate beef quiver.
Anyway, the point is that Jeff sucks and “Ford v Ferrari” is a fucking stupid name for a movie.
Hard Flickit 