This is it. It’s the wettest day of the year. A day our Mayan forefathers knew was so wet it would retroactively flood the entire decade which came before it, all the way back to 2012.
It is Wet Brandon Day, the most important holiday in the Jewish faith. Gentiles have Good Friday, we have Good Kroger Friday the 13th. And from these ashes, each Saturday the 14th, rises a beautiful redheaded phoenix. The flames radiating from this hot fucking bird can only be quenched by showering in crystal waters. The Phoenix demands fluid saturation this Wet Brandon Day.
To celebrate this holiday, I’ve compiled a list of wet and/or Brandon and/or day movies. Eleven movies in total will allow us to fill our days with moist action and still leave enough time to flood that delightful young man.
1. Waterworld
2. Brave
3. Blackfish
4. Seaspiracy
5. Squirting Yoga Sluts 8
6. Wet Hot American Summer
7. Titanic
8. The Lighthouse
9. The Shape of Water
10. Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
11. Finding Nemo 2: 2 Finding 2 Dory
There you go, your Jefflix My Bean streaming guide for Wet Brandon Day. I hope everyone enjoys thorough soakage of the most attractive messiah, including Brandon himself. Stay wet, boys.
Hard Flickit 