The countdown to Christmas is on, and Hard Ticket is hard at work with their Hard Ticket to Halloween series. It’s definitely their fault that the holidays are so out of synch and not because I’m late. This week’s timely episode features a subterranean skirmish between The Descent and Barbarian. Get ready to be drilled …
Rob Zombie Retrospective: What Is a House of 1,000 Corpses in the Face of Israel’s Genocide?
Legendary podcast Hard Ticket put together one of the bloodiest events since the last time America did a war crime yesterday. Hostel vs. House of 1,000 Corpses. It’s like being stuck between a rock and hard place while watching someone being graphically crushed between a rock and a hard place! It is also worth noting …
Meta Horror and the Overwhelming Difficulty of Trying to Type in Jeff’s Shaggy Voice
This week’s episode of Hard Ticket featured a clash between quasi-horror classics Tucker & Dale vs. Evil and The Cabin in the Woods. Also, Jeff did a Shaggy impression. Zoinks, Scoob! Like, don’t fact check my claim that the episode came out this week! 2010’s Tucker & Dale vs. Evil served as a badly needed …
How Sharknado Predicted the Dismantling of FEMA
Get ready to sharpen your fifteen rows of serrated teeth, because this episode is all about sharks. Contrary to what you may see in Big Shark and Sharknado, however, sharks are not actually insatiable man-eaters. You’re thinking of RFK Jr. Also, sharks do not cause autism, but obsession with them is a common sign. Big …
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How 21 Bridges Inspired the Israeli Blockade of Gaza
This week’s episode of Hard Ticket last month was a scathing love letter to the work of renowned artisans Anthony and Joseph Russo. Taking the reins on Captain America: The Winter Soldier in 2014, the Russo brothers moved the MCU forward in a brave, new direction, which happened to be fundamentally consistent with its original …
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Oh Fuck—Am I Art or Artist?
This week’s episode of Hard Ticket has really fucked with my conception of who this character is supposed to be. This Is Spinal Tap and The Rutles: All You Need Is Cash clashed in a truly calamitous battle of the bands. This cosmic struggle is miraculously upstaged, however, by my first ever shout-out on the …
Manic Pixie Dream Girls and Their Placid Solemn Nightmare Guys
This week’s episode of Hard Ticket pit modern classic Scott Pilgrim vs. The World against hidden gem Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. This will be the last time I type out either movie’s name in full. Movie names should always be short, and preferably monosyllabic, like Tusk. Unfortunately, neither of these films features a …
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Wargentown, WV
Hard Ticket’s second newest episode featured a matchup between 1917 and Dunkirk. Much like the latter’s life-saving boats, my review is a tad late. In my defense, I’m now a graduate student, medical professional, current hater and aspiring lover. My time is simply too valuable to review a regularly releasing podcast, and frankly, it’s selfish …
Getting Top From a Ten
I hope you got your fucking sleep during my hiatus, maggots. I initially thought it appropriate to combine my reviews of both parts of the 10th-episode extravaganza into one single article, much the same as the sperm on your dad’s back combined with the sweat dripping from my paunch to form that Goldilocks-perfect porridge you’re …
Silence is Violence
This week’s episode of Hard Ticket was a 2-on-1 matchup between Sherlock Jr. and The General and Hundreds of Beavers. These three silent films help to establish a theme, criticizing the refusal of US representatives to speak out against the genocide in Gaza. I, for one, support the Hard Ticket boys for standing up for …
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